A Note on Being Selfish (Because, life)

Sometimes our harshest critics are staring back at us when we look in the mirror; others are the ones we call our friends, or perhaps family. Too often, we are raised with the assumption that our family only wants the best for us, even if their words are less than pleasant. The problem, you see, is vulnerability. There’s beauty in the way we are blunt with our family and friends, and there’s pain that we mask, never to be shone. Maybe it’s fear, because the thought of rejection is, quite possibly, the worst thing we could imagine.  It’s more than rejection in relationships or bonding with family, it’s the idea of putting yourself “out there” that seems scary. Vulnerability is real; even the strongest people will sometimes fall victim.

A friend of mine once told me my biggest flaw, and to be honest, I was more in shock that he was able to pinpoint what exactly seemed to lack in my life more so than I could.  He wrote:

“ … Your biggest flaw is not using your full potential that you have,
Because you are so strong that the weak minded will target you and make you feel like you’re beneath them … the weak hearted will use you for their benefit, and the emotionally weak will blame you for  their problems.”


Initially, I couldn’t fully process everything he said. Yes, I understood, but on a deeper level, it made me realize that I have spent my entire life trying to please others – not because I needed their love and acceptance, but because without, I felt as if I was nothing.  What bothered me the most was that I knew he was right, but I couldn’t force myself to admit that I have spent so many years trying to please others, while I let my dreams slowly fade away.

However, taking an emotional (and sometimes physical) vacation from the ones you love is more than alright. Yes, family is important, but all too often, we forget to take time for ourselves and meditate … be at peace. By no means are you obligated to stay around those who abuse you, mentally and physically. In our minds, we create excuses … cop outs as to why our family/friends decide to treat us any type of way. A lot of people mistake insults and verbal abuse with, “I’m saying this out of love;” no matter what the circumstance, love yourself enough to stop, think about you, and walk away. You were not put on this Earth to be tortured and beaten down; so if there’s anything you take away, remember to hold your head high and adjust your crown. You deserve better in life, because you know better. Speak nothing but positivity, despite the negative tension holding you back in life.

At one point in time, we’ve all done this. Instead of sticking up for ourselves, we shrug things off and pretend like they don’t matter. People, please learn to be a little selfish and put yourself first. Your mental health and stability will thank you later. Protect your energy. There are so many people in this world who love and care for us, but so many more who are waiting to see us fall. I have to admit that I’ve struggled with this for the majority of my life, but then again, I’m human, and I’m learning. So to my friend, I thank you so much for caring enough to speak truth in life.  Your words, ever so beautiful, mean more to me than you shall ever know. 

 

6 thoughts on “A Note on Being Selfish (Because, life)

  1. Miranisa says:

    Protect your energy. This post speaks truth. It happens to the best of us. Week people suppressing us so they feel better. And we fall for it, out of unneeded consideration. Great post

  2. Shay says:

    That was my 2018 resolution, to be selfish. Looking back on the year, it was absolutely one of the best years of my life because I took time to reflect on myself and do things that I wanted to do. Take time and let go of things that need to be let go of, and breathe! Your best life is ahead of you girl! 💜

  3. Kierra Gray says:

    I absolutely love this! I love when you said, “Initially, I couldn’t fully process everything he said. Yes, I understood, but on a deeper level, it made me realize that I have spent my entire life trying to please others – not because I needed their love and acceptance, but because without, I felt as if I was nothing. What bothered me the most was that I knew he was right, but I couldn’t force myself to admit that I have spent so many years trying to please others, while I let my dreams slowly fade away.”

    I’ve always been called a people pleaser and always wanted to be liked, but I am starting to get over that, but I still deal with it daily. Thank you for sharing!

  4. You know who it is says:

    You are an inspiration and a living reflection of the beautiful mind you have. Your wisdom and beauty resonates inside and out. You know by reading this you know this is coming from a person who knows you in many ways. I waited on today to reply for a reason that you know. Stay blessed queen and keep writing as it inspires me as well as others

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s