Pack Light

I’ve always been a person who plays things safe; I wake up two hours early for work (well, I also spend an hour listening to music), I leave at least 45 minutes before I have to be there, just in case there may be traffic – let alone the fact that I used to arrive at work at 5AM and there were, literally, five people on the road. I guess you can say I have always been a firm believer in sticking things through, no matter how bad they get.

Six years ago, my life changed when I graduated from college and frantically searching for a job in my field.  After all I loved to write; I KNEW I would find a job in no time. Well, after spending the summer searching and going on what seemed a thousand or so interviews, I landed a job. No, it wasn’t in my field … hell, it wasn’t even ideal, but at the time, I was desperate.  Thus began my five year stance with America’s favorite convenience store: Wawa. My time there was … adventurous. Needless to say, I met some of the most amazing people and in a sense, it helped mold me into a better leader. When I was offered the chance to run my own store with another company, I took a chance, and decided to go.

Everything was perfect, at first.  Maybe it was the honeymoon stage that I was living in, but I was determined to make the best of every experience afforded to me.  In a sense, I started to wonder if I would ever write again, because my entire life was consumed by a job where I was rather unhappy and at a stand still in my career. I was working, sometimes, more than 80 hours a week, and watching my life change right before my eyes.  So much so that today, I could look back at pictures of me over the last year and see the sadness … the utter disappointment in my eyes and I must say, it’s rather scary. I think what’s even scarier is that … nobody seemed to notice.  Maybe it’s because I tend to put on such a brave face, and this is no disrespect to my family or friends – because maybe it was something that I needed to be open with, rather than feeling like I needed to keep everything in.

I feel like God was sending me subtle messages telling me to quit, that I was destined to continue writing and my stories needed to be shared with somebody.  It was only when unforeseen circumstances with my health began wear heavily on my body did I decide to step out on faith and look for another job. I can’t begin to tell you the amount of applications I filled out, or the countless amount of, “thanks, but no thanks” emails that began to pile in my inbox.  I began to question myself. I mean, obviously there was something wrong with me, right? So with the added pressure to leave my current hell hole of a job while maintaining my health began to break me down, I decided to take one more leap of faith, and put in my two week notice.

 

Nobody knew that I did not have a job lined up until it was my last day.

No, really.

You see, months – maybe two prior, I interviewed with Capital One and, of course, after not hearing anything, I simply gave up.  Four days after I put in my notice, I got a call from Capital One with a pending offer, but again, nothing was solid.  It was only when I clocked out one final time from my previous job that I got the call from Capital One saying that I was clear to start working that following MONDAY – my last day was on a Friday. I had two days to thank God for all his blessings and bringing peace into my life – all because I took a leap of faith.

I say all of this to say that sometimes we are so content with being, well, unhappy.  Maybe it’s because we are afraid of change … or maybe the thought of being rejected from a job makes us question our abilities as leaders, because one too many, “thank you, but no thank you’s” can weigh heavily on yourself esteem.

       After all we aren’t perfect, we are only human.  Sometimes, stepping out on faith can be scary, but in the end, it’s probably one of the best decisions we will ever make for ourselves.

 

8 thoughts on “Pack Light

  1. Candace says:

    Wow very enlightening post. I can definitely relate to this on so many levels. Keep writing because you are speaking on things that people are going through in their everyday lives including myself.

  2. Kendria says:

    So much realness. Lots of us put on a happy face for the jobs we hate, dreaming of the day we can finally escape. I can relate to your feelings of unhappiness. I was never happy working until I started my business.

    I cant wait to see your next post !!

  3. Nicole T says:

    Alana,
    I have seen such an incredible change within you over the past couple of months. It’s been amazing to see you really smile again. This post hit home on so many levels. Keep writing, I’m enjoying seeing this side of you.

  4. driftyness says:

    It can be so easy to start feeling stuck. I’m glad you’re able to start something new, and I hope it’s a great new chapter. This post was inspiring for me because I’ll be job hunting in a few months and I keep wondering what’s going to happen if I don’t find a good fit. It’s a good reminder that I don’t have to stay somewhere I don’t want to. Thank you, I needed that!

  5. Ari Jade says:

    This was right on time I’m currently feeling unhappy with aspects of my job and looking/hoping for a better way to pay my bills. Working isn’t the issue it’s dreading going in and feeling genuine discontent that’s not good for anyone. I’m so happy you were able to get a new beginning.

  6. Christina Jane says:

    Sometimes God is literally standing over our heads giving us clear hints to go in a certain direction with our lives. This was an amazing story and a great leap of faith you took. My heart dropped because I know for me there have been so many times where I wanted to quit without having a line-up. You are truly blessed.

    Love Always,

    Christina Jane

  7. Lani on Life says:

    I love this! It is human nature that we are complacent in our lives…but why? We have should rest on God’s word and His will for our lives…greatness! Thank you for confirming my leap of faith and all of our leaps of faith!

    xoxo Lani

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