Dear Sister …

Seeking Light_ A Reflection on Grief.-2I miss my sister.  There aren’t too many words that can explain the loss somebody you love, somebody you look up to and admire.  My sister, LaQuetta, was that person. When I was 18 years old, I had just graduated high school and spent the summer contemplating on just what I was going to do.  All I knew was in that two short months, I was going to be a freshman at Mary Baldwin College, and it seemed as is life was just beginning.

And yet, while it seemed that my life had somehow just started, my sister’s suddenly stood still.  At just 20 years old, my sister was diagnosed with cancer. I can’t really remember specifics … maybe I was in such denial, that I chose not to remember everything that happened.  What I do recall is my mother and father gathering all of us together and telling us the news; I remember the dark cloud that suddenly seemed to form over us, and it made me contemplate going to college because it would only put me farther away from my family.  Regardless, I still decided to go. I made sure to always keep in touch with my big sister, I’m sure she was more than annoyed with me calling and texting all the time, but I felt as if I had to know every detail, because being alone at school only made things worse.

Finishing my freshman year of college, I returned home for another summer of excitement … or so I had hoped.  In a year’s time, my sister had gotten worse, far more than any of us ever expected. The doctors had given her about 4-6 weeks to live … she passed after just over two.  Now, I can’t tell you the immense amount of sorrow that overcame the family, partly because even as I sit here and type this, my eyes can’t seem to hold back a river of tears that somehow needed to be released.  What I can say is that Saturday, March 2nd would have been her 31st birthday. I remember that even when my sister passed at 21 years of age, she had just begun to live for the first time.  This year will be 10 years since her passing and I am still overcome with grief … a sadness that may never go away.  To my sister, we celebrate your life and your love for all things beautiful, and thank you for keeping us safe all these crazy years.  You’ve always been a hell of a Guardian Angel. I wrote something for you … I just hope it reaches you all the way in Heaven.

At one point in everyone’s life, God gives us a test ;

a time when we must accept defeat, or fight.

Some fall short of God’s expectations,

while others go beyond their limits ..

beyond the barriers which have bound them, to succeed.


You were worth much more than any ordinary fighter ;

a soldier under the watchful eyes of God,

an Angel … gone too soon.

May you no longer feel pain ;

God’s prevailing soldier, you shall remain.

May you be at peace, and shine your everlasting light upon us, each and every day.

My Sister.

My Friend.

My Light.

I love you.

6 thoughts on “Dear Sister …

  1. Terrell says:

    2009- WORST YEAR EVER, but you have survived and persevered..continue your greatness Alana…you are making your siblings in heaven so proud!

  2. Lauren says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your sister’s memory is illustrated so thoughtfully by your love. Thank you for sharing something so personal with us.

  3. kierragray7 says:

    I’m so sorry you had to go through his. I can’t even imagine the pain. This is a beautiful post in honor of your sister. She’ll always be your guardian angel. Out of pain comes strength. Thank you for sharing.

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