There’s this pressure that seems to be lingering over women who are almost 30 and haven’t yet had children. I’m one of them, and to be honest, I want children but I am in NO hurry to have them. Does that make me a bad person? No, it just means that “Aunty Lana” is my current title and I’m going to play the fuck out of that role until my time comes to venture into motherhood. Growing up, I remember the important role my aunt played in my life, and how I loved spending time with her. She taught me so much, and everything I learned from her has allowed me to be the amazing aunt that I am today.
Yes, I will be that aunt who will spoil her nieces and nephews rotten and kindly send them on their way once it’s time to go home. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t to knock all of my friends and family with children … you know Aunty Lana loves her babies, but why is it adamant that I have a baby before 30? It seems like once the clock strikes midnight on my 30th birthday, I’ll be confined to a bed and forced to spend the last of my days watching reruns of The Golden Girls wishing I had bitten the bullet and pushed out a few chubby cheek mini Alana’s (whew chile, let’s imagine a mini me for a second!). I love children, and I can’t wait until that day comes, but why does society make it seem as if having a baby in your 30’s is somehow the worst thing to do? I mean, it’s 2019 not 1902 – there are so many more women taking charge of their lives … taking charge of their careers, and not having babies before the age of 30 and guess what? It doesn’t make them any less of a woman!
Being an aunt has been my greatest gift in life, and it’s allowed me to watch the next generation of my family grow – raising them has certainly prepared me to be the absolute best mother I can possibly be, when it’s my time. I don’t believe that having a child before the age of 30 somehow makes you more of a woman, and I don’t believe that having a child after 30 means that your days are over. My nieces and my nephews are the most important people in my life, they are the reason why I am the person I am today. They taught me how to love, unconditionally … that at the end of the day, I could be so essential in a child’s life, just by being there. Whether it’s going on a school field trip, playing babysitter so my siblings can get some rest, or going to every basketball game/school play/or any activity humanly possible, the joy on their little faces when they see me is more than enough.
I was 14 years old when my first niece was born, and it was the happiest day of my life. At that time, I didn’t really understand how I could be a good aunt, but with time, it came naturally … and I haven’t turned back since. I’ve experienced every joy with children who may not be my own, but it sure feels that way, and I love it. They are helping me grow along the way.
To be honest, sometimes I feel like I’m still trying to find pieces of who I am in this crazy world, and until then, “Aunty Lana” is, by far, the greatest gift God has ever given me, and I will cherish it, immensely. At the end of the day, aunts need love too.