Chill out, sis-8I’ve always, “felt some type of way” about my looks.  I mean, I’m not perfect … my skin isn’t always clear, some days I’m sure I look crazy, and some days I know I look damn good.  There has always been this pressure to be thin, to be beautiful 24/7, yet in the world that we live in, who has time to wear makeup, have their hair done, and be dressed to kill every single day?  Shit, I’m honestly tired thinking about it. Maybe it’s hormones because, God forbid, my cycle has to come once a month to remind me that I am a woman and I must bleed … but lately, I’ve been feeling so “blah.”

It’s one of those feelings I can’t put into words … it’s just, “a mood.”  I can’t help but feel like some people expect us to look and act a certain way everyday.  Sis, I am too tired and too stressed to give a damn about what some man thinks about my wild hair, or the spots of hair you see on my legs because I haven’t shaved in a week, or I “missed a spot.”  Keeping up with society’s standards of beauty today is way too complicated. Don’t get me wrong, I love to get dressed up and enjoy a night on the town with my girls, or dress up for myself, but in all reality, who the hell has time to be primp and proper 24/7?  Some days, I don’t care if my curls are out of place and my afro blows wildly in the wind; hell, maybe I throw it up in a messy bun and let it do its own thing … but if I were to dress up every single morning, I don’t feel like I would be true to myself.  At the end of the day, we are all human and the expectation to always be perfect went out the window years ago. You love me as I am, or stay away from me, plain and simple. Yeah, that probably did sound a bit harsh, but at the end of the day, I am who I am and if I changed that for the likes of another person, I am doing an incredible disservice to myself and those around me.  

Back to this feeling … the idea of being “blah.”  I can’t say where it comes from, exactly. Maybe it’s the constant ads for diet pills and miracle teas that somehow help women lose pounds in just a matter of days! Don’t get me wrong, I’m passing no judgment on anybody around me, who am I to judge?  But in a society where your looks are everything, sometimes it can feel as if you are nothing.  I think about my nieces and how they’re growing up, and I wonder if they too feel the pressure to look a certain way, even at their young ages.  In my eyes, they’re the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen, but somebody, somewhere, doesn’t like something about them.  

If it’s anything in this world that I hope they learn from either myself, or other strong women around them, it’s that sometimes, it’s okay to not be glamorous, constantly.  We need to realize that being picture perfect isn’t always ideal.  Sometimes, the best self care is to know that you don’t need to be lavish or prim and proper 24/7 to feel pretty.  You are amazing, just the way you are.  And these feelings … the idea of being, “blah,” is only temporary and it, too, shall pass.

8 thoughts on “Unpretty.


    This is EVERYTHING because most women feel as if they are less than as well as not accepted if they don’t often glamorize themselves. We have to uplift our sisters and the little ones following in our footsteps. Love your natural beauty God makes no mistakes!

  2. Octavia says:

    Sis you are one of the most beautiful people I know inside and out. I, myself struggle sometimes with feeling as if I’m enough especially with how society is nowadays. This was a great read and much needed. 😘

  3. taayeee says:

    I love your transparency sis. There’s probably a lot of women out there that can relate to this (myself being one of them) We have to remind ourselves that even on our “blah” days we are still beautiful ❤️

  4. Bethanni Williams says:

    OMG this post is so real. When I read the title I remember when the TLC ‘Unpretty’ video came out, and how much pressure society puts on us. The song in itself made me want to accept myself. I also have nieces and to ME they are the most beautiful girls but like you said I want to build their confidence so high that no matter what ANYone says about them they don’t believe it. Thank you for your transparency.

  5. Kmac says:

    This post alone shows how beautiful you are. I think as a woman we all feel this way. The older I get the more I think back and wonder how I ever kept make up on and did my hair everyday because now i actually hate having to put it on. It is definitely difficult but apart of the self love journey and I think you are doing great by owning you.

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