Sometimes our bodies are trying to tell us something, and yet it seems that we are too “busy” to answer. Three weeks ago, I started developing this awful pain in the lower left side of my abdomen. To be honest, I assumed that it was the start of my cycle and left it to “mother nature” to run her course. Naturally, a week in and there was no true cycle in sight, I chalked it up to stress … but when pain began to elevate to a more excruciating level, I knew it was something I couldn’t continue to ignore. However, out of fear, I did nothing.
You see, I’m a hypochondriac, the second I start to google my symptoms, my mind jumps to the worst conclusions. Instead of seeing what it could possibly be, I continued to self medicate with midol, because cramps are a bitch, and ibuprofen because, somehow, it always seems to catch that little area in my body that’s hurting at any other time. It fact, it had gotten so bad that I found myself up, in tears, around 2 AM sitting up and asking what the hell is happening. I honestly wouldn’t have made an appointment without my friend Octavia damn near cussing me out and making me go!
I have to thank her for that push, because after hours in the doctor’s office and being sent to have a cat scan done on my side, I was told that I have a huge cyst on my left ovary. By huge I mean 5.8 x 6.3 cm; I know, it’s a big bitch. And to think that I was going to continue to self medicate while it would have continued to grow or worse … ruptured. So, here I am on a Saturday night wallowing in self pity because I’m on bed rest and absolutely miserable, but I felt the need to write about this. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in everything but ourselves. Our body has this crazy way of telling us to slow the fuck down, to stop and listen. Believe me when I say that Octavia is the only reason I went to the doctor, and I’m so grateful that I did. In terms of what’s going to happen next, I don’t really know. I meet with a specialist next week to see if they want to let it go away on its own, or if I need surgery. I can’t lie and say that I’m totally prepared because I’m scared shitless of whatever outcome it may be. I know, somewhere somebody is saying, “It’s just a cyst,” but imagine if I had continued to let this pain consume me instead of sucking it up and going to the doctor.
The point of all of this is to say that when you’re feeling pained … when something doesn’t feel right, do not ignore it. Our bodies aren’t perfect in any way, shape, or form, but what something is happening, it will find a way to let you know. Listen to your body. I promise, she knows a lot more than we think, sis.