Year 30.

Chapter 29-3I’ve been trying to imagine what this moment would feel like: celebrating my 30th birthday.  Would I see the world differently?  Would I appear ….older? And yet, as I sit here and write this at 1:00 AM (on my birthday), I feel no different than before.  I’m embracing this year of change with welcome arms and praying for peace. As I look back on the last year of my 20’s, I think about everything I’ve learned – every triumph and every bit of sorrow I’ve felt.  It’s crazy, we feel like the older we get, the less mistakes we make, the more mature we become.  Oh how I wish it was only that simple.

Instead, I want to celebrate the lessons I’ve learned in the last year, and share them all with you this morning. Grab a cup of tea, sis, and sip lightly. 

ONE: I can achieve anything …. Anything

In 2018, I decided it was time to start my business.  At the time, I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew I wanted to create something that meant so much to me.  Thus, “Untamed Dreams,” the journal, was born.  When I tell you I cried so many days because I felt like it was impossible, I MEAN that.  I never really imagined how hard it truly would be but baby, ya girl was STRESSED. I learned to stop comparing the success of others around me, and focus on staying in my lane, finishing my race.  Ladies, it’s only the beginning, there is so much more to come this year, and I can’t wait!

TWO: Your circle is EVERYTHING

Coming into 2019, I met three of the most amazing women who have changed my life. I never imagined that starting a new job would mean opening myself up to more experiences and living life for the first time in forever. I thank God for these women…my sisters.  Without them, I am nothing.

THREE: There’s nothing wrong with letting people GO

2019 was the year of ridding “toxic energy and negative vibes,” and for me, it was difficult.  I’m not going to lie, I’m a huge people pleaser and sometimes, I’m afraid to let people go.  I wish I knew why … but I’m human and it’s a fault I can only admit and embrace changing. I’m learning to walk away, and never look back.

FOUR: Those who I have lost are forever with me

I think I focused a lot, this year, on trying to keep my brother’s energy alive … it almost seemed like it was this motivation I needed to carry on, and if I felt, even for a second, that he wasn’t here with me,  things would fall apart.  In this, it made me aware of his eternal light that shines upon me … that glistens on my family.  It is so delicate, so beautiful.

FIVE: Everything happens for a reason, PERIOD.

I’m learning not to question God’s timing or his work, because for everything we think we know, God says, “COME ON SIS, THINK BIGGER!” I have learned to meditate and communicate with him more, not just when things are going bad, but even when things are spectacular.  I know that without Him, I would’ve given up a long time ago on so many things, and yet with his grace and mercy, every setback is ammunition to keep going and do better … because I know he will never put more on me than what I can bear.

I’m excited about year 30, another chapter yet to be written in this crazy thing called life.  All I hope is that the next decade is full of happiness and success, less stress and more blessings.  Today, I am 30 years old … thank you God.

4 thoughts on “Year 30.

  1. Sheniqua says:

    I could write a lot about how your words and post give me hope, but just know IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! And keep going after what you’ve prayed for, it’s coming and I know you’ll CONQUER ALL!!! Happy dirty 30 Sis!!!!

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