Nobody is perfect, everybody goes through something. This quarantine has definitely made me realize that through all of this isolation, self care is something that needed to be on the forefront of everybody’s mind. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that we are in the middle of a pandemic. Thank God I can sit here today to share my story after being diagnosed, and not knowing how things were going to work play out. So many people are suffering in silence, and this quarantine is bringing those negative thoughts more present in our minds. It’s a plague we can’t seem to escape.
Sometimes, it seems as if the world is crumbling around our shoulders and nothing we do helps. The stigma surrounding mental health is so exhausting; when people want to reach out for help, they don’t out of fear … fear of being “crazy.” When people don’t reach out for help and their depression, anxiety, etc manifests itself in unforeseen ways, guess what we are? Crazy. I’ve come to realize that, as of late. Yes, I go to therapy and love it …. I have anxiety and to see somebody who not only listens to your problems …. but helps you understand them. They help you cope. I’ll admit it, I have insecurities, I’m not perfect and I damn sure never will be. Not being able to go to therapy, the way I would like, during this time has definitely taken a toll on me. But, being vocal about my problem also helps me remember I’m only human, I shouldn’t be expected to be perfect. The last four weeks have really tested me, and I can’t lie … sometimes the thoughts win. I feel so defeated.
Our insecurities get the best of us, and the people around us don’t seem to care … or maybe they don’t understand, so they choose not to address them. I can’t fathom when there became such a prominent lack of emotion from people … how has the world become so distant in such perilous times?
It makes me wonder if a lot of people choose to live in silence about issues that are plaguing them, because the world can be so cruel. It makes me wonder if, as a society, we have become so numb to our feelings that we don’t even understand or begin to comprehend our feelings and realize that we are NOT okay. People can walk around with smiles on their faces and seem like the happiest of those around them, and yet behind closed doors, they cry themselves to sleep at night … and don’t know why.
Being in quarantine for months may seem like it’s nothing to some, but imagine those who need positive energy and people around them to thrive. Imagine not having that support system when you need them … you’re alone. I wish things were different, but we all know it’s not truly possible at this moment. If anybody is suffering, please reach out immediately. Just remember one thing: you’re not alone.