Healing.

There’s power in healing; it’s a choice we make, as we let go of our fears and let God lead us into a space of openness, comfort, and light in our time of grief. We learn that even in the midst of our sadness, there’s beauty in knowing that Faith will carry us through.

For me, Loretta Kahn was the beacon of hope we all needed in our lives. She was a pillar of the Black community in the Hampton Roads area, a member of the esteemed Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority,  educator, writer, mother … a woman who wore many hats. My strength, my courage. My grandmother. She taught me how to read and write, nurturing my love for learning at a young age. I admired everything about her - the way people so dearly cared for her, and the smallest bits of magic she put into everything she did.

Growing up, it was always a treat going to her house - sleepovers, Sunday mornings at church and special activities afterwards. Helping her in the kitchen - trying to gather every recipe I could in my tiny hands … wearing her special aprons so I didn’t mess up my dress. We watched her chase her dreams and were proud to live in those moments. From the first issue of the Gazeti, to the numerous awards, scholarships, and tributes given in her honor, there was nothing she couldn’t do. While she chased hers, she showed constant love and support to her family, cheering us on every step of the way.

I think about the thousands of lives she touched as a teacher, the impact she had on the community as the Founder of the “Hampton Roads Gazeti,” and life’s lessons and love and family. I think about her smile and hearty laughter that echoed in my ears …. all I can do is think. I think about the impact she on my mother and aunt, who have been so courageous throughout this journey - to say I look up to them is an understatement. I think about my siblings, and the time we spent with her as kids. Now more than ever, I wish I could wrap my family up in my grandmother’s warmth. Because there, it felt like home.

Most importantly, I think about the few months we all spent together and my last physical conversation we had. Somehow, it was different - God was preparing me for, what will be, one of the hardest seasons of my life. I would give everything I have in this world to hear, “I love you, little girl!” one last time. I would her a little tighter and tell her that everything I’ve done … the woman I’m becoming is because of her. And yet, I know she knew.

I could never fully put into words the impact she had on my life, but I am forever thankful to have been raised by such a prominent woman, and I can only hope to be as amazing as she truly was someday. As I write this, tearfully and overcome with sadness, I smile knowing that I’m part of her legacy. One thing I know is that I will miss her, and I will carry every special moment and lesson she planted a seed with along every step of the way. So, even in the midst of our grief, we smile knowing that Quetta and Julian get to be with our beloved grandmother.

Grandma, I miss you. I love you so much - thank you for being the brightest star in my life.